Thursday 23 January 2014

I had the strangest dream...........

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A few nights ago I had the strangest dream.  I'm normally a pretty crazy dreamer at the best of times (I couldn't tell you how many times I've been a spy running away from all manner of things) but this particular dream really stuck with me as being both very clear and very unusual.

In this dream my Mum was asking me to write my Dad's eulogy.  The weird thing is that my Dad is not suffering from any terminal illness nor was he in the dream.  I questioned my Mum about this strange request, I couldn't understand why she wanted me to write a eulogy for someone who wasn't dying but she was adamant.   I then spoke to my sister about the request who recommended that I just write it to keep Mum happy.  I responded that writing a eulogy would take like 2 hours and I had other things to do.  It was at this point that I woke up.

Later on that morning when I had had a chance to reflect on the dream it brought up so many things that I needed to think about.  Firstly it brought into sharp focus some of the wisdom I had gleaned from reading Tuesdays with Morrie: An old man, a young man and life's greatest lessons, by Mitch Albom.  Tuesdays with Morrie is a beautiful story about a sociology lecturer who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease and as a result his body began to slowly shut down.  Morrie was well aware that he was going to die and was determined to share the things that he was learning through the process of dying with the world to make us more aware of the precious gift of life.

I learned so many things from this book and everyone that I have spoken to who has read this book has taken different things from it.  The main thing for me was the understanding and acceptance that yes we are all going to die some day and most of us won't know when and some of us will go quite unexpectedly.  For me there were a couple of key lines that have stuck with me from this book.  The one that really resonated with this dream was when Morrie suggested we all imagine a little bird on our shoulder that asks us each morning "Is today the day?" He recommended using this little visualization to remind us that each and every day could be our last and that it would be wise to live each day fully aware of each moment and making the most of every minute we have. 

We had a friend a couple of years ago and although he wasn't a close friend he was someone we really liked and although I was keen to get to know him better and develop the friendship I didn't want to push it rationalizing that we had years to create that connection.  That friend passed away suddenly not long after and those years I imagined making use of were gone in an instant.  If only we had known of the limited time that we had available to us, we certainly would have done things differently.

This dream drove home to me that not only could any day be my last but it could also be the last of those who are nearest and dearest to me.  It made me think that if someone who means the world to me like my Dad was to pass away tomorrow what would be the thing that I regret.  The answer for me, and I'm sure most people, is that I would most regret never telling my Dad exactly how much he means to me and how much I appreciate all of the hard work and sacrifices that he has made for us over the years.  Wow.  Kind of sounds like the stuff you would say in a eulogy doesn't it?

I could pass this dream off as just another crazy dream or I could see it for what it really was, my mind saying to me "Hang on.  You read that book and yet you still haven't made any changes to your life or the way you relate to people."  Not only did it give me this very clear reminder but also gave me the means to make one change.  Instead of writing a eulogy for my Dad I am going to write him a testimonial and in it I will say all of those beautiful things that people seem to only get the chance to say in a eulogy but I will get to say them to him directly.  I will make sure that he always knows exactly what he means to me and every time I speak to him I will make sure that it is with love as you never do know if the next time could be the last. 

After I have done this for my Dad I will do the same for my Mum, my grandparents, my husband, children, brother, sister and everyone who makes my life special.  That way if my time comes unexpectedly or the time of someone I love, I can take comfort in the thought that I won't be plagued by that one great regret and in the meantime I will have the beautiful experience of appreciating and uplifting the ones I love.

I hope like me that you don't see this as morbid but as an opportunity to really start to live your life the way you would like to every day by seeing life for the precious daily gift that it is.

Have you had a dream that has caused you to make changes in your life?  If so tell me about it.

2 comments:

  1. awwwh i love this post ,you are a beautiful daughter.xx

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  2. I think many women I have gotten to know over the past few months in the HELLP syndrome community could benefit from reading your blog and I will be recommending they do. Thank you, I always love your words x

    Tabitha

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