I had the strangest dream...........

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A few nights ago I had the strangest dream.  I'm normally a pretty crazy dreamer at the best of times (I couldn't tell you how many times I've been a spy running away from all manner of things) but this particular dream really stuck with me as being both very clear and very unusual.

In this dream my Mum was asking me to write my Dad's eulogy.  The weird thing is that my Dad is not suffering from any terminal illness nor was he in the dream.  I questioned my Mum about this strange request, I couldn't understand why she wanted me to write a eulogy for someone who wasn't dying but she was adamant.   I then spoke to my sister about the request who recommended that I just write it to keep Mum happy.  I responded that writing a eulogy would take like 2 hours and I had other things to do.  It was at this point that I woke up.

Later on that morning when I had had a chance to reflect on the dream it brought up so many things that I needed to think about.  Firstly it brought into sharp focus some of the wisdom I had gleaned from reading Tuesdays with Morrie: An old man, a young man and life's greatest lessons, by Mitch Albom.  Tuesdays with Morrie is a beautiful story about a sociology lecturer who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease and as a result his body began to slowly shut down.  Morrie was well aware that he was going to die and was determined to share the things that he was learning through the process of dying with the world to make us more aware of the precious gift of life.

I learned so many things from this book and everyone that I have spoken to who has read this book has taken different things from it.  The main thing for me was the understanding and acceptance that yes we are all going to die some day and most of us won't know when and some of us will go quite unexpectedly.  For me there were a couple of key lines that have stuck with me from this book.  The one that really resonated with this dream was when Morrie suggested we all imagine a little bird on our shoulder that asks us each morning "Is today the day?" He recommended using this little visualization to remind us that each and every day could be our last and that it would be wise to live each day fully aware of each moment and making the most of every minute we have. 

We had a friend a couple of years ago and although he wasn't a close friend he was someone we really liked and although I was keen to get to know him better and develop the friendship I didn't want to push it rationalizing that we had years to create that connection.  That friend passed away suddenly not long after and those years I imagined making use of were gone in an instant.  If only we had known of the limited time that we had available to us, we certainly would have done things differently.

This dream drove home to me that not only could any day be my last but it could also be the last of those who are nearest and dearest to me.  It made me think that if someone who means the world to me like my Dad was to pass away tomorrow what would be the thing that I regret.  The answer for me, and I'm sure most people, is that I would most regret never telling my Dad exactly how much he means to me and how much I appreciate all of the hard work and sacrifices that he has made for us over the years.  Wow.  Kind of sounds like the stuff you would say in a eulogy doesn't it?

I could pass this dream off as just another crazy dream or I could see it for what it really was, my mind saying to me "Hang on.  You read that book and yet you still haven't made any changes to your life or the way you relate to people."  Not only did it give me this very clear reminder but also gave me the means to make one change.  Instead of writing a eulogy for my Dad I am going to write him a testimonial and in it I will say all of those beautiful things that people seem to only get the chance to say in a eulogy but I will get to say them to him directly.  I will make sure that he always knows exactly what he means to me and every time I speak to him I will make sure that it is with love as you never do know if the next time could be the last. 

After I have done this for my Dad I will do the same for my Mum, my grandparents, my husband, children, brother, sister and everyone who makes my life special.  That way if my time comes unexpectedly or the time of someone I love, I can take comfort in the thought that I won't be plagued by that one great regret and in the meantime I will have the beautiful experience of appreciating and uplifting the ones I love.

I hope like me that you don't see this as morbid but as an opportunity to really start to live your life the way you would like to every day by seeing life for the precious daily gift that it is.

Have you had a dream that has caused you to make changes in your life?  If so tell me about it.

2014 The year of Spirit

I am calling it.  2014 for me will be The Year of Spirit.  I have spent many a year focused on partying hard, building a career, improving my health, losing weight, improving my fitness, volunteering in my community and much, much more.  While I enjoyed working on these different areas of my life I have always felt that something is missing, or more importantly that there is something significant that I keep pushing down the list of priorities.


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I was fortunate enough to have spent the week between Christmas and New Years Eve this year at the home of my aunty in a beautiful bayside town as sick as a dog.  While it may not sound so fortunate to be so sick at that time of the year it actually forced me to stay put instead of running around taking the kids to a million different things and trying to cram as much as we possibly could into that week.

Now my aunty's place ended up being the perfect place to stay put in as she is someone who likes to work on her spiritual development and has filled her home with reminders of her spiritual journey such as Buddha statues, prayer beads, spiritual sayings and beautiful art work.  In the many hours I spent just being in her home I was inspired to switch my focus from the hectic paced life of family, volunteering, exercising, play dates, story times, school and kinder pick ups and drop offs, playgroups, housework and all those other things that filled every week to the brim to a slower life focused on meditation, contemplation and being present in every moment.

It gave me the courage to say that not only is working on my spiritual self important but after the care of my children it is the most important thing I have to do.  I also realized that filling my life to the brim with caring for and providing the most that I could for my children, creating a beautiful home for my family and helping others was a great excuse for not working on my spiritual self as let's face it it's hard work.

What do I mean by working on my spiritual self and what do I have planned for this year?  I mean learning to find your authentic self.  The part of you that isn't concerned about what you look like, what you have or what people think of you.  The part of you that is above and beyond all of that.  The part of you that simply wants to live in the moment, spread love and joy purely because it feels good to and get back to nature.

I plan to spend this year the way I have spent the first month so far.  Daily meditation and yoga, being with the people that I'm with instead of letting my mind take me somewhere else, reading of other's spiritual lessons and spiritual journeys, learning to let go of attachments to things, to ideas and to the way I define myself, daily exercise spent appreciating nature and feeling gratitude for everything that I have, have had and will have in the future while appreciating that none of it is permanent and all is meant to come and go.  I also plan to let go of those things that do not add to my life, that I resent doing or that I only do because I feel obliged.

How do I feel so far?  I feel calm, centred and far more in control of my life.  I feel as though I am actually living my life instead of getting to the end of each day, week, month, year exhausted and wondering what it was all about.  I can't wait to see how this year turns out.

What are your plans for the year?  What are you dedicating 2014 too?

Day1 - Quit Sugar 8 week program

My little man helping mum peel almonds

As expected today was a good day. 

Motivation - high

Energy Levels - great

Weight 72.4kgs

Gross Detoxy feelings - none

Sugary foods consumed - soy milk in my morning latte

 

Tough spot -  I did have a moment this afternoon at a friend's house when I was offered some bran cake which sounded oh-so-healthy but alas there was sugar in it.  So I waited until I got home and had a latte with A2 milk and one of the zest n' poppy sugar free bikkies that I made yesterday and felt great.  Even while making the kids popcorn I didn't feel the urge to snack away the afternoon as has been my style lately.

 

I weighed in this morning as well just to keep an eye on what's happening weight wise.  While weight loss isn't my ultimate goal I am really curious to see what happens on the scales and as long as I can keep my exercise levels up I should be losing fat instead of muscle.

 

The chia pudding that I mentioned I had made for this morning's breakfast I thought was really tasty and filling and my husband thought is wasn't too bad but the kids weren't loving it so I am going to have a play with it to see if I can make it more palateable for the kids.  I'll let you know how I go. 

 

The chickpea bombs again were enjoyed by my husband but not so much by my 6 year old but I had a proud mum moment when she explained that although she didn't love them she still ate them because she had swimming at school today and she needed the energy.  That's my clever girl!!

 

The little man and I peeled our almonds this morning and have had them in the oven ever since.  Can't wait to try these tomorrow when they are properly dried out.

 

Here's how we did it

 

Activated Almonds

 1 cup almonds

enough water to cover almonds and an extra 1" at the top

1tbs Apple Cider Vinegar

Salt to taste (we used Himalayan Rock Salt but it's up to you)

 

Cover almonds with water and leave to soak overnight

In the morning peel off the skins, so that you have blanched almonds

Place almonds in a bowl and mix through vinegar and salt.

Place in the oven on he lowest setting you have and cook for 12-24hrs or whenever they feel crunchy.

 

(adapted from the I Quit Sugar e-cookbook)

 

 

I'm sweet enough thanks

I am officially on the bandwagon.  The no sugar bandwagon that is.  I have done lots of thinking and lots of reading about this humble sweetener over the last 6 months or so and I have finally come to the point where I have read enough to convince me that sugar may in fact be the root of all evil. 

 

A large call you say.  Sure it's a big call but if what I'm reading is accurate, and the science is convincing, then we really do have something to worry about.  Those who have something to say on the subject and most notably I have been reading Australian author David Gillespie who wrote Sweet Poison and Big Fat Lies and Dr. Robert Lustig author of Fat Chance.

 

Both authors have done a phenomenal amount of research into obesity and metabolic syndrome and what may be behind the massive increase in our waistlines and the massive spike in diseases related to metabolic syndrome such as Type 2 Diabetes, Dyslipidemia, Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver, Heart Disease and Hypertension amongst a host of others.  Both authors are happy to present the science and take along the journeys that they both took to come to the conclusion that sugar or more accurately fructose is by far the most likely cause of all of these diseases and more.

 

I won't go through the science with you as you can read the books yourself and if you're a bit of nutrition buff like me they are well worth the read.  The basic premise is that fructose which is one half of table sugar and the sugar that gives fruit it's sweetness manages to go undetected in our bodies energy balancing system and so our body continues to look for food to make up for the calories that it can't see.  It also impairs the bodies ability to recognize leptin which is the hormone that tells the brain that you have eaten enough.  Pair this with the fact that it is linked to the pleasure centers of your brain which reward you with a hit of dopamine every time you eat it and there-in lies the crux of the problem.  No wonder we struggle to give up the white stuff!!

 

Unfortunately the only real solution to stopping the cycle of eat more sugar, want more sugar is to go off it completely.  This is where I began to struggle.  Yes I can see what they're saying about sugar being so bad for us but it tastes so good and has been one of my main sources of energy while pregnant and coping with a new born and it's my friend and I love it and I don't really want to give it up but give it up I must.  I have however managed to recruit some help to get me across the line.

 

I found a great resource in the form of Australian writer and personality Sarah Wilson.  I used to love reading Sarah's articles in the Herald Sun about getting back to basics and simplifying life and so when I found that Sarah had quit sugar and published the e-books I Quit Sugar and I Quit Sugar 8 week plan I knew I had found the help I needed.  I purchased her 8 week plan and I Quit Sugar e-cookbook and am excitedly preparing for week 1 tomorrow. 

 

The program takes you on an 8 week journey that is designed to allow you to release your need for sugar and focus your eating habits on foods that will truly uplift you body but it begins gently to ease you into the scary world of no sugar.  This first week is simply about cutting back on those added sugars in your diet and taking stock of where the sugar in your diet is coming from.  It's about preparing for the weeks ahead by finding alternative foods and strategies for coping when the craving hits.

 

The e-cookbook is stunning and as it is my first experience of an e-cookbook I have had so much fun clicking on the links for more information and recipes.  The 108 recipes in the book are also amazing and I have already made the Chia seed pudding, the zest n' poppy cookies (which my little man loved), some chickpea bombs and have got some almonds soaking tonight in preparation for activating them tomorrow.

 

With Sarah's help I truly believe that I can kick the sugar habit and supercharge my energy levels and my health and hopefully lose some baby weight along the way.  Wish me luck over the next 8 weeks and I promise to keep you up to date with how I'm going and I'll pop in any recipes I feel have been helpful for anyone who wants to join me.  Is anyone else in the process of kicking the sugar habit or has already done so successfully or not so successfully?  I'd love to hear about your experiences.

 

Your balance buddy

XX

"Buddhist Principles : A Working Example" or "How not to lose your s**t when your baby won't sleep at 4 in the morning"

"I wanna Bertie Beetle"

The scenario is nothing unusual.  Mother of a 9 week old little boy who although he is the most beautiful little treasure in the world, isn't always so great at sleeping at night.  Dad has a demanding job and gets up with our other two cherubs in the morning (besides he lacks some of the necessary equipment) so it's Mummy on night duty.

 

Needless to say that after nine weeks of broken sleep.  Mummy's starting to get a little tired, cranky and teary.  We mums are very good at putting on brave faces in the light of day but let's face it when you're staring at a tiny little person in the middle of the night who has decided that rather then go back to sleep they would rather play or cry over nothing in particular for an hour and a half you start to go a little crazy.

 

I have been reading Sarah Napthali's "Buddhism for mothers with lingering questions" and have found her advice to be both logical and helpful (both key tests of advice as far as I'm concerned).  I decided at 4am this morning (man I used to be partying at this hour) as I started to tear up again that it was time to put this advice into practice.

 

The first piece of advice is to be in the present moment.  Rather then starting the dialogue in my head of how it's always me getting up to and having to settle the baby in the middle of the night (the past) and how I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow and as I can't see me catching up on that sleep any time soon I'm going to end up sick and run down (the future.) I chose to stay in the present moment and found that the tears stopped as soon as the back story ended. 

 

The next piece of advice is based on Buddhism's second noble truth "Our suffering is caused by our attachments and aversions."  Napthali (and Buddha) suggest that understanding that it is our attachment to or our aversion toward a thing/person/event that causes our suffering not the thing/person/event itself.  Right got it, my aversion toward the crying and my attachment to  sleep are what is causing me to suffer right now, not the fact that my baby won't go back to sleep.  OK time to let go of the aversion and attachment and just deal with what is in front of me.  I can do that.

The next piece of advice is to ask what the present moment requires of you.  Easy, the present moment simply requires me to get my little man settled and back to sleep.  I've done this before, it's not so bad.  Calmly cuddle, walk, pat and jiggle until he falls back asleep.  So much more effective than crying, swearing, storming, huffing and puffing.  Who'd have thought. What often took 90 minutes took just 10 and I was back to my bed and sleeping before I knew it.

 

I'm not saying that I'll never have another teary, non-sleeping episode again but it's nice to know that I now have some tools in the tool box to help me when I start to feel out of control.  Now if only I could deal with the attachment to a well rested functioning brain and the aversion to being vomited on I'll be sorted.

 

What great advice have you been given recently?

The (Over)thinker

Looks like I'm not the only one!!

So I admit it I'm guilty.  Guilty of being one of those people who manages to procrastinate indefinitely by overthinking, overanalyzing and over-complicating.  It's not that I don't want to complete the task, on the contrary, jobs I don't like I usually push through and get them out of the way so that they don't hang around like a monkey on my back.  No the things I put off and off and off are nearly always things that I am excited and passionate about.  Take this blog for example.

 

I love thinking and I love writing.  So writing about what I was thinking about was something that got my heart pumping.  I had plans, big plans.  I was going to write amazing, article like posts that would have the reader thinking and making positive changes to their own lives.  I wanted to offer up something that was well thought through and well researched. 

 

I have a list a mile long of the things I want to write about but the second I start following my mind down  a path I would undoubtedly find more things I should consider putting in my post, more paths to follow and I would need to research them of course to ensure that I was always very factual.  I would tie my own brain up in knots over one simple little blog post.  Guess what happened.  I stopped writing anything because it all got far too hard and I didn't have the time to go and fact check everything little thing I thought about.

 

I know I do this in other parts of my life as well.  The unfinished novel (I had plans to make it a series, big plans), up-cycling old clothing, replanting the garden, personal training, cleaning up our streets, helping out friends.  You name it, I've over-thought it into extinction.

 

Not that I'm suggesting that thinking is a bad thing.  In fact I would say that planning is one of my strong points (I have even worked as a planner.)  I'm great at organizing holidays, planning out a busy week, undertaking projects for various committees, organizing the kids.  When I get the balance right, I am a work of organized art.  The trick as always is getting the balance right.

 

So what to do?  I'm planning on tapping into that wonderful tool we have called gut instinct and trusting that I can do things without over-doing them.  I'm going to learn to seize the moment and just do it, whatever it is and in the process learn to let go of the outcome as the journey is far more important than the destination anyway.  When am I going to start?  I just did.

 

Your balance buddy X

 

Are you an over-thinker?

The Wisdom of Selma

One of my favourite things to do with my kids is to take them to the local library for story time every week.  It's educational, fun, social and like few things these days free.  We made a conscious decision two or so years ago to start stepping away from consumerism and so taking our kids to something like this rather than a play centre, McDonalds or buying them something suits us perfectly.

While at story time last week my little man chose his book to borrow.  I didn't pay much attention to what he picked up until we sat down together later that day to read it.  I was so touched by the simple message of this story that I wanted to share it with you all.  The story is Selma by Jutta Bauer, Gecko Press 1997.  If you are interested in purchasing this book for home you can find it here.  I know I will be getting a copy as the message is one I believe is so important for our children and the illustrations are just beautiful.

Selma

Jutta Bauer

When I just couldn't take it anymore I went to a wise ram....

What is happiness?

Happiness?

Let me tell you the story of Selma....

Once there was a sheep named Selma.

Every morning at sunrise, 

Selma would eat a little grass....

...She would play with her children until lunchtime...

....exercise in the afternoon...

....eat some more grass....

....have a little chat with Mrs. Miller in the evening...

....and finally, fall fast asleep.

Asked what she would do if she had more time, Selma replied...

Well I would eat a little grass at sunrise....

...play with my children until lunchtime...

....exercise in the afternoon...

....eat some more grass....

....have a little chat with Mrs. Miller in the evening...

....and finally, fall fast asleep.

"And if you won a million dollars?" she was asked.

Well I would love to eat a little grass in the morning....

...play with my children...

....exercise in the afternoon...

....eat some more grass....

....have a little chat with Mrs. Miller in the evening...

....and finally, fall fast asleep.

Please I urge you again that if you love this book go and buy it.

Your balance buddy

Renae X